Closure

In many broken relationships, one party is left longing for resolution. Whether it’s the breakup of a dating relationship, the death of a friend or family member, or the loss of a job, someone is almost always left with unresolved issues.

In some relationships, there is an opportunity for the parties to reconcile and resolve latent issues, even if the relationship never returns to its former status. In others, the separation is so complete that discussion or resolution no longer becomes possible.

One of the clients I counseled during my internship at ACU’s counseling center had lost his father several years before. Two or three years later, this student would still break down into tears in class and other situations because of grief at the loss. There is a somewhat standard repertoire of techniques that counselors use in these situations, and this student eventually found the resolution that he needed. Most people naturally resolve these kinds of things, but some don’t. For some it takes longer than usual, and for some it takes professional help.

For a little over a year now, I have struggled to resolve issues surrounding a broken relationship. I loved her, flaws and all, but she chose to leave me for another man, with no other explanation but “you just weren’t good enough for me.” At times I reflected quietly and made so-called progress. At times I ranted and raved, striking out at those flaws in her that I used to have patience for. At times I resorted to passive-aggressive sniping from afar, making sideways references and taking indirect shots. At times I sought the advice of wise men and professionals. Even with all my efforts, she never granted me an opportunity to discuss these issues and work toward resolution. She made up her mind, and is content to let my questions go unanswered.

Last week I received a letter from her that basically told me, “It’s been a year. Quit talking about me. Get over it.”

I think I will. I will probably never get from her the resolution that I have so earnestly sought, but I have to learn to live with it.

And so, I quit. In the next few weeks, all religious discussion will be moved to another site. This site will stay up, but become one of those “today I went to the store” blogs with fishing reports, pictures of the kids, and so forth. I’ll tell you more about that as the time draws near.