Monday, October 24, 2005

Writing a spiritual autobiography

I'm in the process of writing a spiritual autobiography. Some of those things are hard to re-live. I'm not going to post it here in its entirety, because it's too personal, and because it's a bit critical of many of the people and churches that have brought me to this point. Even so, here are the highlights:

1. Because of my family history, I had no choice but to be a faithful member of the Church of Christ. Kind of the opposite of Hank Williams' "Family Tradition" song.
2. My spiritual mentors have included my Dad, Whit Pennock, Greg Brumley, Dean English, Jered Benedick, and Donald Sandlin.
3. Most of the elders I have ever known have protected the status quo or their backsides at my expense.
4. I have been plagued, or perhaps blessed, by a nagging dissatisfaction with the way things are.
5. I can honestly say that I can think of very few times when I have found my church experience completely satisfying. Like many folks who end up in seminary, I found myself saying that there must be something more to Christianity than what I had experienced.
6. I fully believe that God has worked through circumstances throughout my life to lead me along to various places and people, and I have no reason to suspect that he'd quit now.
7. I have no idea what's going to happen next, or where the Lord is leading me right now, or what I want to be when I grow up, but I have faith that he'll work it out.

And there it is. The long version is 13 pages.

It was another good weekend to be a fan of the orange and white.

Friday night we took the boat and the kids to the lake. Jonathan was funny. He saw me casting and wanted to do the same. He picked up my pole with a Pop-R on the end and started waving it around and whacking me in the head. Not wanting my ears pierced, I got him a pole from the rod box that I hadn't put a reel on yet. He threw a fit because there wasn't a lure on the end, so we clipped a float on to the last eye and he was OK. Turns out that an All Star will float if it doesn't have a reel attached. In between Jonathan's stuff, I managed to catch one decent bass. They were busting shad in the back of this little cove, but I didn't have the opportunity to fish hard enough to catch more than the one. Even so, it was a pleasant trip.

I went deer hunting on Saturday and didn't see anything, but the deer are eating my corn from the demand feeder, and I finally figured out how to make the other feeder work. Turns out that it has to be turned to "off" when you leave, not "on" as intuition would make you think.

Have a good one,
Jason

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Missional Church?

I just finished reading "The Shaping of Things to Come" by Frost and Hirsch, a book about the theory of missional church leadership as compared with the institutional church. They make some good arguments about the dangers of institutionalism in our churches. For example, we are identified by our hierarchy, by our buildings, and by our "attractional" stance: if you build it, they will come. Since we have the truth, it is our responsibility to get people to come and hear it. Our outreach events are oriented around bringing them to us. They're more in-drag than out-reach, to use Frost and Hirsch's language. Instead of attracting non-Christians to church with our new buildings, fancy programs, and "great worship and preaching," Frost and Hirsch argue that the Bible seems to say "You go" more than "make them come."

The authors argue for a non-institutional model: no church building, no hierarchy, no us-them language, no attraction to our fancy programs, no dualism. By dualism, we mean the tendency of institutional churches to allow and unintentionally encourage Christian behavior on Sunday that is not connected at all to the rest of the week. If you remember, I constantly and intentionally tried to teach against this kind of dualism. I want teens to know that Christianity IS life, not a part of it. Jesus IS Lord, and that means even on Tuesdays and Saturdays. I couldn't (or wouldn't) play the institutional games, and so even my chance to teach truth was cut off.

Frost and Hirsch argue that the institutional church is dead but doesn't know it yet. I'm convinced that if those of us who are trained and training to be ministers jump ship to build a new model, then we will contribute to the death of the institution. Somebody needs to stick with the program and help those folks.

And so I'm back to another version of the same question... How does a person who is anti-institutional function within the institution? I suppose that by nature the gospel is subversive, but I hate to be intentionally subversive. I don't want to "play institution" while being anti-institutional in my teaching and life. At the same time, I love the people in the institutional church, warts and all, so I can't just take off and start my own thing like so many want to do.

In case you haven't figured it out by this point, I don't entirely buy Frost and Hirsch's arguments in their entirety. Remember that I blog to inspire thought in the readers more than to convince them of certain points.

Have a good one!
Jason

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Eureka!

I think I found my first book. (Actually I already wrote a children's book, but haven't pursued any kind of publication.) I've always wanted to write a book, but have never really had anything important to say. I think I found something yesterday...

Since my family is out of town, I decided to go deer hunting yesterday evening. I got out of spiritual formation class at 3 and headed to the country. I took along my bible. I spent about an hour in meditation, kind of lectio divina style, about the story of Ananias and Sapphira. What have I given up for God? What have I held back? From whom did I withold it? What were the consequences of my witholding? What does this text call me to repent of? After that, I spent the next hour praying the Jesus prayer. I can't say that I had any great revelations or anything, but it was a good exercise. Didn't see any deer either, for those who wondered.

Now to my book... Steve Chapman wrote a book called "A Look at Life from a Deer Stand." It's kind of a fluffy book about seeing God in nature and remembering all about family stories. I think my book is going to be called "The Deer Stand Monk" or something like that and offer a series of spiritual formation exercises for guys sitting around in a tree waiting for a deer to show up. I have a ways to go yet, as I probably shouldn't write a book after only two hours of actually doing what the book is about, but I really like the idea. I think I'm going to continue this practice, lectio divina followed by hesychastic prayer (nice technical words there, huh?) through this deer season and see what comes about.

Jason

Monday, October 10, 2005

2 Legit 2 Quit

Well, I wrote the letter I spoke about in my previous post. While a case could be made for posting it here, I think a stronger case can be made for not posting. However, here's an outline of the key points.
1. The published criteria are too general to be useful.
2. Expectations must be clear. Differing expectations, or unspoken ones, will lead to frustration and failure.
3. Success requires an efficient feedback structure. Unmet expectations must be clearly addressed and specific suggestions must be made about the nature of any improvement needed.
4. Walnut must be clear about its vision and must hire a minister who shares the same vision and philosophy of ministry.

I think I did a decent job of saying what needed to be said without saying all the things I could say that might make me feel better. Like I said before, I think that what I had to say was important enough that I couldn't not say it. 2L2Q.

Speaking of legit, how 'bout them Longhorns! Looks like the OU monkey is finally off of Mack Brown's back. That title game with USC is going to be a tough one, should the rest of the season go as expected.

My family went to New Mexico this week. Shana's mom came here for a Mary Kay thingy, and Shana and the boys rode back with her. So far I've boiled my traps, built two bow stands, read two books, written the aforementioned letter, and I plan on hunting this afternoon. It sure is quiet around here, which is both good and bad. I can get alot done, but I miss my wife and kids.

I suppose that's about it for now. A special thanks to those who commented on my previous post. Your comments were helpful.

Jason

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

An interesting opportunity... advice sought

It comes as no surprise that Walnut is looking for a new youth minister. What has surprised me is that they published criteria in the bulletin for what kind of YM they say that they want. Some would say that they had a YM that met those criteria...

My concern is mostly that they not set up another poor fool for a fall by being unclear about their expectations. A second major concern is the effect another difficult transition will have on the church and the kids in particular. I called Bob Fry and expressed some of my concerns, and he said that it would be appropriate and perhaps helpful for me to make a written statement to the eldership.

I appeal to the collective wisdom of my readership. Jerry, Stan, Kim, Travis, Mom and Dad, Kristie, Gabe, Ann, and even you folks in France...

This is a tough thing, a delicate matter. I need to say what needs to be said, but in a way that will be heard. What advice can you offer?